Monday, October 13, 2014

The Alternate Female Identity Part 2

Why Women Hide

"I quickly discovered it took far more internal security to 
speak on behalf of men than to speak on behalf of women." 
– Warren Farrell, PhD. - The Myth of Male Power

At one of the live relationships seminars I attended, a middle-aged man stood up and posed a question to the psychologist Dr. Harold Bloomfield, author of “Inner Joy.” He asked Dr. Bloomfield:

“Why do women hide? I can’t figure any of them out any more. I have reached the point in my life where I cannot tell what it is, or who it is I am talking to when I speak to a woman. She has on this strange mask that she thinks is pretty. It looks stupid and she hides behind it. How the hell am I supposed to honestly respond to them? There are so many and they all do it.”
Dr. Bloomfield answered with one of the most profound statements I have ever heard. He said:

“View them as insecure creatures but love them anyway. They are not going to change and you only hurt yourself with any kind of negativity towards them.”

Smart response and very good advice in my opinion.

Acquiring Sensory Acuity About Women

Neurolinguistic programing (NLP) is the branch of linguistics dealing with the relationship between language and the structure and functioning of the brain. In a neurolinguistics seminar in Beverly Hills, California, where out of the 350 people attending, 300 were women, the guest speaker was the  noted female psychologist and NLP expert, Genie Laborde, the author of “Influencing With Integrity.” She spoke in great detail how we, as humans perceive even slight changes in facial cues, skin color, voices, and eye movements, with which - if we are very observant - we will know how the other person is immediately responding to our one-on-one communication. Laborde called this learning of how to pay exact attention to these details, as acquiring “sensory acuity.”

A well-dressed, grey haired man about 60, stood up and asked Laborde:

“If we are supposed to be able to communicate better with each other with neuro- linguistic programming and be able to read the inner responses of other humans with our increased ‘sensory acuity’ - just how can this be accomplished when women have covered their facial skin with cosmetics? And, just why DO women cover-up their true selves?”

As if all the air was just sucked out of it, the room went totally silent. Her candid response chilled the audience into recognizing just little we know about each other. She said:

“I don’t have an answer to that first question but women hide their faces, in the beginning stages of a relationship, because they simply do not trust men.”

Well, I was one of the few men in the group and noticed that Genie Laborde was the only woman in the audience without makeup. She was very plain looking and I thought her explanation of the question was a bit of a cover-up too, because to me, that means that a women is always trying to blame men for feminine actions. Laborde’s side-step did not fully answer the question about how overcome this cosmetic-communication blockade. Moreover, as a professional psychologist she continued to defer her own reality and responsibilities to better communication. She wouldn’t even try. It appeared to be too sensitive an issue because the majority of the women in the Beverly Hills audience looked just like a Barbie doll’s older sister. It wasn’t a cheap seminar either.

Bottom line: Using cosmetics simply works! And, that is the primary reason women use it. It allows women to escape reality, to compete with other women and it is the best and cheapest tool in our society for male-manipulation and female self-esteem.

In different words, women consciously and sub-consciously know this make-up power very well and they’ll be dammed to give it up for the sake of being “real” or honest. They simply cannot afford to let go of their grip on this form of visual-emotional power over men, because it has become an identity addiction linked to their main path to security and wealth. Hopefully, we can change this (are you listening Sheryl Sandberg?).

“Maturity is reached the day we don't need to be lied to about anything.” – Frank Yerby
The Omnipresent Feminine Addiction

This feminine predilection for fake beauty has become a financial-visual necessity the to self- esteem processes of billions of women and therefore has become an industry with major economic clout and knows exactly how to perpetuate the addiction. Even fake finger nails have become a multi-billion dollar industry with new licensing laws, trade shows and environmental regulations. Similar to what the tobacco industry did with advertising, the cosmetics industry hooks their future customers with fantasy and bogus images of beauty as the way to happiness and the good life. The manufactures know she must have it - to make herself feel good about herself or she cannot handle the world as it really is. Because society and American economics helps maintain her addiction - her bogus beauty kit is sometimes her only friend and mental crutch. When that doesn’t work, she might go nuts (I had two sisters and a crazy aunt Helen from whom I draw that conclusion). 

This was part of a chapter from in my books The New Power of American Women and also Bogus Beauty & The New Power of American Women. More on this coming soon